Step 1
Introduce the theme of friendship
Suggestions: You could ask questions such as What's the difference between a good friendship and a superficial friendship? Why do we need friends in life? Or simply read the passage below together.
Why Friends Really Matter
Real friends aren't just people you chat with at break time, play sports with or who like your posts online. They're the ones who cheer you up when you're having a bad day, who listen when you need to talk, and who like you for who you are.
A good friend brings out the best in you, makes you feel safe and enriches your life.The Friendship Tree tool is a fun way to think about what makes a good friend for you and what kind of friend YOU want to be. As you explore the tree, we can talk about what friendship means to you right now.
Great friendships don't just magically appear out of nowhere. They grow when you put in time and effort, just like taking care of a real tree! The Friendship Tree activity is your chance to start building friendships that are respectful, supportive and fun.
Step 2. Explore the Qualities
- Go through all the friendship qualities on the screen with your participant(s) to ensure understanding.
- Invite participant(s) to start thinking about which ones feel important to them. Some have extra hints if they need help understanding them.
Before participants begin the activity tell them that there's no right or wrong tree. Tell them:
- This is YOUR Friendship Tree.
- It helps you understand what you value and how to build friendships that feel healthy, respectful, and real.
- You can change your mind as you explore. It's ok to drag qualities in and out and move them around until you're happy with your final tree. What matters most is understanding what's important to YOU! Have fun with it!
Step 3. First build the roots
- Invite them to choose the 3 qualities that are super important to them-their top favourites.
- Drag them into the roots of the tree. Remind them: The roots are what keep friendships strong and steady!
Step 4. Choose your next 7
- Next, invite them to pick 7 more qualities that they think are still important, even if they're not their top 3.
- Drag these into the branches of the tree. The branches are qualities that help friendships grow.
Step 5. Open up the discussion
Ask your participant(s) questions like:
- What's important to you about "x" quality?
- What makes your top 3 so special?
- How do the qualities you've chosen show up in your current friendships?
- Do you notice any gaps or qualities you didn't pick and why?
- What about you? What qualities do you bring to your friendships?
- Are there any qualities you might want to develop in yourself to become a better friend?
- Why might it be important to have more than one friend? Possible dangers of just having one friend?
- What sort of things damage friendships?
- When is it time to step away from certain friendships? What might be a respectful way to do that?
NB If doing this as a small group/ whole class activity, ask what everyone’s top 3 qualities are and see how much agreement there is- there are likely to be many overlaps. Emphasise these qualities as things to look out for in others and to develop in themselves.
Step 6.
You can either hand out paper copies for participants to fill in themselves and take home or take a screenshot of each participant's screen and print it out for them.
Optional extra stage. A Romantic Relationship
Invite the young person to consider a romantic relationship. They can choose 3 more qualities. If they want to, they could take out some from their current Friendship Tree and replace them with 3 new ones. Or they can just select 3 they would add to their tree. The hoped for outcome is a recognition that good romantic relationships are still based on the core qualities of a good friendship.